Movie # 4 Scarlett Fry's Junkfood Horrorfest

"I want your skuuuuuulllll"

Yes! My favorite! Horror anthology movies! "Creepshow" was my favorite when I was growing up.  Now  the "V/H/S" series quenches my thirst for anthologies. So this Scarlett Fry zombie guy (Yeah, I guess Scarlet could be a zombie's name) is our crypt keeper for this movie which includes 6 short stories of murder, death, skateboarding, and torture. Here are your movies:

At least he washes the dishes

Story 1: Blood Thirsty Butchers

Butcher guy is hungry. Fridge empty. Girl in apartment complex tasty. Invite back to unusually clean apartment of cannibal/butcher. Eat girl. That's it.

Death count: 1

Boob count: 0

Penis count: 0

Story 2: The Solution

Nurse takes care of difficult patient. Takes poor sap to a park. He won't eat his food. Nurse hired a hitman to take out patient. Patient sniped. Nurse happy. 

Death count: 1

Boob count: 0

Penis count: 0

Never buy drugs from this guy

Movie number 3: Griptape Spank

Some skateboarders buy weed from creepy masochistic drug dealer in thong. Skateboarders pay for weed by spanking drug dealer with their own skateboards. Skateboarders rag on each other for participating in spanking. One guy's girlfriend calls him gay for spanking drug dealer. Guy goes back to drug dealer with a modified with nails skateboard. Drug dealer spanked and killed with naily board. Goes back home to girlfriend. She Still calls him gay. He kills her. Goes back to sleep.

Death count: 2

Boob count: 0

Penis count: 0

Ryan Reynolds in " Soul Patch"

Story 4: Wasted life

Guys sleeps all day. Goes to work. Comes home. Puts DVD's away in correct cases. Slits wrist in bathtub. 

Death count: 1

Boob count: 0

Penis count: 1

DING DING DING DING!!!!!!!!!!!!

Story 5: The Devil Made Me Do It

Guy likes black magic. Girl hates black magic. Girl shoots guy in head. Girl takes shower. Guy resurrected by Satan. Guy plays with girl's organs. 

Death count: 2

Boob count: 0

Penis count: 0

Story 6: Love is Blind

Girlfriend is pregnant. Guy gets pissed. Guy gets reverse 50 Shades of Grey'ed. Girlfriend takes out his eye after using him as a human pin cushion. 

Death count: 1

Boob count: 1

Really? One f*ckin' boob!

Penis count: 0

Redeeming qualities:

Decent gore gags

Short.

Stories are straight to the point.

Boob


Death Count: 8

Best kills:

Nail board beat down

Eyeball extraction

Disemboweled beauty


With this if you like:

Guys named Scarlett

Holey undershirts

Rare foods (not cooked I mean)

Making sure your DVD's remain unscratched

Pineapple boxer shorts

One boob