Movie 1: Suburban Sasquatch

                               "Hey, not the Cosby Sweater!"

Okay, first review. Here we go......

 Plot: Bigfoot is pissed and takes it out on the burbs. Native American girl and dorky journalist guy take on a mystical Sasquatch in a fight to the death. Will they survive the suburban jungle or succumb to the hairy beast?

         

Redeeming qualities:

Some of the blood and gore gags are well done.

I was suprised by the pretty good editing. The movie's flow was quite fluid.

Bigfoot don't discriminate! He kills everyone! Fisherman, auto mechanics, hikers, west highland terriers, hot dog eating women behind the wheel of an SUV, etc...

Speaking of SUV's, the Sasquatch attacks not one, but two of them. Irony?

The CGI bird that the girl summons is better quality than "Birdemic". And that was a movie about birds! 

The only thing that upset me with this movie is the male protagonist's shirt. It was a couple sizes too big. He looked like a four year old running behind the heroine of this movie.

Predafoot? Yeah, he can disappear and reappear. It's like watching predator if he crashlanded in rural Indiana behind a Walmart.

                                   The loneliest dinner ever

Death count: 15

Best kills:  Arm rip head smoosh (Arm ripped off, then head

                   Crunched between Bigfoot hands)

                    Face-rip tummy slash ( Sasquatch equivalent to a Ric 

                    Flair rake to the eyes, followed up by a stomach

                    Clawing)

                    Heart rip make eat ( The big guy rips a fisherman's 

                    Heart Out then forces him to eat it)

                               Awwww, he likes to share

Boob count: 0

I thought there would be at least one scene of Biggie peering through someone's window. Oh well, maybe next time. 

Penis count: 0*

There was one scene where I might have caught a glimpse of the yeti's junk, but that could of been the material of the Chewbacca suit they used.

Best quote:

"Monsters are like the boogeyman..... or your father. They're not really there"

                       What a mother says to her son after he sees Bigfoot

                  

                  

Watch this movie if you like:

Bigfoot (duh)

Awkward relationships ( Our protagonists)

Appendage loss ( I counted five arm rips)

Mortal Kombat blood effects (Whenever Bigfoot takes an arrow)

No nudity